im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize