butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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