I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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