yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
