Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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