i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
