I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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