last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
