I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
