i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
