I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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