You smell like stripper and shame
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
