We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
