The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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