Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
