He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
