Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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