i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have post one night stand depression
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