Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
