Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
