I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Boobs are out for the taking
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize