You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you never un-have a 4some
soo... how was my night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
