I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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