Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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