...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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