i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
