Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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