Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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