Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
