I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
