this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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