Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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