That's intense
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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