its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's official drugs can't kill me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
