just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
