Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
