And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
