If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
