I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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