How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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