i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
