can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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