If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
