WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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