you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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