she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
