We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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