I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
