So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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