I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
