i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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