THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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