I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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