We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
