I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
