Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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