I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
