as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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