Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
