Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
